Love, the light!

It's not just about blushing

when you see red roses,

It's not just about reading
romantic poetry and proses.

It's not just about stretching

your arms wide open, in the rain.

It's not at all about faking

smiles when you are in pain.

Because it's all the same to me.

Whether the time is dawn or dusk,

Whether my eyes are open or shut,

It's all the same to me.

Love is the touch of warm hands

on my cheeks, wiping away my tears.

Love is a bunch of faithful words

driving away my fears.

Love is the light in which I see

the blooming of flowers.

Love is the sky,

for my rainbow colours.

Love is a power that makes me see,

It makes me more than what I can be.

Love doesn't have a different name,

For me, love and light are both the same.

ONE MORE CHANCE - Chapter 5

She fell to the ground, and sobbed. It brought her all her memories. The day her son was attacked, the fear and the helplessness. She was a mother after all, and all she had wanted was her son to be happy. And she knew how much it meant, to convince the woman he loved, of his innocence.

The woman he loved was now hugging his mother, comforting her, and trying to get herself some composure. The women sat silently for quite a while, and she stayed the night with his mother.

She returned the next morning, with a heavy heart and burning eyes. Tears flowed profusely from her eyes, and she could not bring herself back from the feeling of guilt. She had got all her answers now.  She had loved him. She was the one who was supposed to trust him, and be with him, listening to what he had to say, giving him another chance to prove his innocence. She had left him when he needed her the most, and distrusted him when he needed to be trusted. Regret and guilt tortured her like never before, and she felt she never deserved his love. It was a terrible feeling. And she was not sure how she would get over it. She knew he would forgive her, but deep inside, she felt she did not deserve it. She searched for ways to apologize to him like she really meant it, but failed to find any.

It was time for her to go. It was time to apologize, to try her best to make him take her back. It was time to be back in his arms, forever.

The drive delight!

        

           The morning sun seemed to flirt with my skin as I exposed my face to him. He came with the subtle morning breeze, gently caressing my eyes, arresting my senses.  I surrendered, closing my eyes, thoroughly enjoying the 7.45 am of a Sunday morning.

             We were driving on the freeway, the NICE road, towards Tumkur. It seemed like we were flying! Dad and mom were talking about the statistical improvements of the flourishing freeways and so was my brother- driving, humming and thus multitasking. Talking about my brother, he is a fine driver, passionate about his driving skills. He talks. About family gossips, about music, about all other time pass topics, cracking jokes, making us laugh through the journey, making it pleasurable. Music turns him on while he drives, without which he finds driving, the hardest thing in the world.  I was not listening keenly, as I was busy in capturing the scenes on my phone. Though I knew my 2 megapixel camera could not show it as good as my eyes did, it was irresistible, and I thought of giving it a shot. I finally took a few pictures, which later on my phone, looked average.

          I badly wanted to watch the greenery and enjoy the scenic beauty, but my Sunday-morning-sleep- deprived eyes craved for a nap. The wind from the open window also seemed to agree with it. But I was stubborn on watching the greenery, mainly because I love watching them, they are soothing to the senses, and I miss them terribly in the busy Bangalore city. 

Tomorrow, back in Bangalore, you cannot watch this kiddo! Open your eyes and postpone the drowsiness… you can find better times for sleeping…..

And so I heard myself waking me up.

We stopped for breakfast at the Agarwal Bhavan, a new fast food joint on the outskirts of Bangalore on the Bangalore-Tumkur road. We finished our breakfast and here to mention, the tea was exceptional!! And praising it to be the best tea I’ve ever had in my life, would not be an exaggeration. We again started off, refreshed and recharged!

 As we drove, my brother changed the music with the changing hues of the mild sunlight. KennyG, with a melodious saxophone and guitar, was being played. And it perfectly matched my Sunday morning travel mood! The mild warming sunlight, the light breeze, the drive, the green reaching my eyes through the open window, the lingering taste of the world’s best tea, the flying strands of my silky hair……!!

Wow….!! Now that’s how I define PERFECT…!!

           We drove along the villages, visualizing the real India. The fields, the people working there without the Sunday hangover, the cattle, the huts, the grass, and not to forget, the love of the villagers for their animals!  And that’s when I realized, that the heart of our country is our villages!

            Then came the other part of the journey.

        The temple we were visiting was a few kilometers away from our actual native town, connected by muddy, narrow and irregular village roads. The roads were so irregular that the car could not be sped over a 20 kmph. The drive through those roads was like a rollercoaster, shaking us up in all directions hurting my mom’s back and upsetting my tummy. There were too many unexpected dips and humps, and rain had created enough of water pits. For the first time in my life, I considered fastening the seat belts as an option….!!  It spoiled all the fun we’d had so far in the journey. But still, the fact that the bad part did not last as long as the good part did, somehow convinced me.

It was a blend of good and bad moods, perfection and imperfection, fun and irritation, smooth and horrifying roads, and such other eccentricities.

        We finally reached our destination, at 11 am, four long hours of journey just travelled!!

I got down from the car, staring at the tall pillar of the temple, stretching and yawning.

We decided on leaving the luggage in the car, and I had this habit of keeping my phone handy. I picked up my cell phone from my bag and stared at it…..

There was no network…..!! 

Damn!!  How can I spend a whole day without my phone!!??

I cursed the network, replaced the phone back, and diffused among my relatives for further talking.  And smiling!! J

Idle musings...

                                   It feels so good, so right, so comfortable and so satisfied as I write. This very moment convinces me that I love it so much, to just be myself; know myself.
                                   As I sit on a chair, in my balcony with a soothing dim light and cool, fresh air, I enjoy my mind's independence. Independence from thoughts, worries, troubles, responsibilities and people. At fifteen minutes past nine in the night, I still find a strange silence even with the prime time soaps running in the houses and the monotonous sound of motors and indicators of Bangalore traffic.
                                  The silence in me, the loneliness and the carefree feelings make me smile. It seems like the time is letting me talk to myself. Among monotonous college and photocopy routines, my mind craves for some space, some time- only and only for myself.
                                  And here I am, talking to myself. Contented. For a few minutes, I push away all the thoughts running through my mind- my parents, my family, friends,studies, career, health.... everything..!! I hit a  pause button to my life, letting it be the way it is! At least for now- for tonight!
                                  Tonight, I won't let anything trouble me, disturb me or take over me. This night is mine! It's for me!  This night, unlike the others, I give some time for myself, rather than for things and people around me. Tonight, I'm not worried about my untidy room, my unreturned books or my unfinished studies. I don't let them bother me, I smile at them!
                                    I let my eyes wander about, seeing the buildings, the light and the people. I stare at the sky, searching for stars, wondering if they really carry mysterious connections to our lives. I try to connect myself to them, something I have never done in my life. I look at everything in detail- the terraces, the cars, the doors and windows, the wet roads, the gates, the steps, the railings, the trees, the plant pots and the main road ahead. The empty porches, blinking generator lights and the eyes occasionally peeping out of the windows in anticipation. The parking lot, street dogs, electric poles, tangled wires and a smart guy on his bike...!!  I free my mind of all its thoughts and just look around, liberally accepting the sights I see, and the sounds I hear.
                                    I let the cool breeze blow over my face, easing my skin. I close my eyes to feel it more deeply. I let my hair free, a few strands falling on my cheeks. It makes me feel like being what I always wanted to be. I say to myself, that I have to take breaks like this now and then. My mind needs it on its way of emotional roller-coasters. I sit with a loneliness, enjoying it. Rejoicing it. As I understand its importance, I get a sense of satisfaction and newness. I am discovering myself...!!
                                     Small drops of rain fall on my sheets of paper, drizzling...! The winds grow cooler and soothing. I rest my chin on my hands and not wanting to get up, I gaze at the sky.
Giving ourselves some time is so refreshing! It relieves us of stress, worries and hopelessness, convincing us that we've got the strength to face what life is taking us through. On that thought, I close my eyes and pray to my inner self, to keep the strength. To hold it forever.
But time flies!
My mom shouts at me, "Dinner is ready.... You always complain that I cook late. When I'm early, you don't eat. Eating late, sleeping late and waking up late..... You have all the bad habits a student is not supposed to have. Do you realise that? Come on now....."
                         I then stop taking my mom's words into my head, but I still hear her talking. I face the sky once more, promise myself that I will take a few lonely sittings whenever I need them. I lend my ears back to my mom, laugh under my breath and take steps towards the kitchen.