It's just not enough!

Let me start off with some excerpts from my memories...

I am on a holiday and I stand at the top of a cliff and look at the world beneath me through my spectacles with a deep admiration towards nature. The height is breathtaking, nature surprizes me, and my buddies agree with me, though with different expressions of exclamation. I look down again, and there you go-

“Wow!Awesome!”

Exams are on the run, and I sit long hours through the night, working on deadlines trying to figure out what those subjects really mean. I start with an understanding level at minimum, almost nil, and as I progress, I start getting the essence of it. Surprizingly, I wake for more hours and outdo my own plan. The best part is that I can't stop smiling when I actually shut my eyes to sleep, and I keep saying to myself- "You rock!!"

It's a saturday evening and the sun plays hide and seek with the clouds and diffuses a brilliant golden orange through the sky, making me feel it is the best sunset I have ever seen. I hurry to the kitchen and make myself a cup of hot coffee and samosas, and sit at my balcony, munching them. I spend a silent evening musing, watching the refreshing sunset in the breeze, and relaxing every bit of me. “Amazing! Solitude is bliss!”

It's midnight and the doorbell rings. I open the door to find my best friends standing there with a delicious birthday cake, shouting like maniacs in unison, “Happy birthdayyy!!!”

I start digging up for something I misplaced and I find some of my old photographs and greeting cards. I sit with them, watching them with continuous smiles and flowing nostalgia! It makes my day.

We find happiness in a lot of things we do, and a lot of things we experience. It may just take different forms- contentment, excitement, refreshment, joy, love, laughs or tickles!

But then, it's just not enough! More happiness we get, more of it we want. Many times, we fail to see what we have, just brooding over things that we don't. And thus we fail to be postive, to be open to recieve happiness and sorrow alike.

We cultivate hobbies and interests, and doing them keeps us happy, but a few years down the lane, priorities change, and we are strongly convinced that we won't find time for them anymore. We grow delusional, and start believing in others rather than ourselves. We try to find happiness in a lot of things, but we fail. Still, the constant hunt for happiness is still on!

There are hundreds of million-dollar questions for which we don't come up with answers. One of them being-

“What makes me really happy?”

The first step to being happy is asking ourselves this question. There may seem to be different answers at different times, and sometimes, no answers at all! The answer, most of the times, is doing something which we are exclusively good at. Something that makes us feel alive! Writing, singing, swimming, reading, painting, dancing.... The list grows. Most of the times, we are mechanical in routine and materialistic in lifestyle, which puts our true self to sleep mode!

Wake it up!- and you are happy!
When we do find our answers and are happy, we don't really know how long it lasts. We might find something today that is really charming, and by doing it, we are happy. But by tomorrow, it would have lost its charm and we might find it not very interesting, anyway. We then, by default, go in search of a new answer and it goes on- It's just not enough!

ONE MORE CHANCE - Chapter 5

She fell to the ground, and sobbed. It brought her all her memories. The day her son was attacked, the fear and the helplessness. She was a mother after all, and all she had wanted was her son to be happy. And she knew how much it meant, to convince the woman he loved, of his innocence.

The woman he loved was now hugging his mother, comforting her, and trying to get herself some composure. The women sat silently for quite a while, and she stayed the night with his mother.

She returned the next morning, with a heavy heart and burning eyes. Tears flowed profusely from her eyes, and she could not bring herself back from the feeling of guilt. She had got all her answers now.  She had loved him. She was the one who was supposed to trust him, and be with him, listening to what he had to say, giving him another chance to prove his innocence. She had left him when he needed her the most, and distrusted him when he needed to be trusted. Regret and guilt tortured her like never before, and she felt she never deserved his love. It was a terrible feeling. And she was not sure how she would get over it. She knew he would forgive her, but deep inside, she felt she did not deserve it. She searched for ways to apologize to him like she really meant it, but failed to find any.

It was time for her to go. It was time to apologize, to try her best to make him take her back. It was time to be back in his arms, forever.

ONE MORE CHANCE - Chapter 2

He was an artist, he painted. And she was a dramatist. The National Cultural Workshop was where they first saw each other. After spending twenty-five fruitful days together, they had met with a beautiful accident called love. She always pestered him to make her portrait, but he always refused. She didn’t know why, and he wouldn’t tell. He was a caring and gentle man with less excitement and more generosity.  She was enchanted by his innocence, and hadn’t seen a more considerate and patient man all her life. They truly loved each other until the day she felt like she had known another person altogether all these days. It was not at all him!!

 She could not forget that night.

She had planned to give him a surprise, and she stealthily walked to the side of his window. There he was, with his painting wrapped safely in paper. There were two other men with him, and that was why she had decided to wait for some time so that she could have him all for herself. There were roses and orchids in her hand, smile on her lips. She had picked a gift for him from the stores he liked the most in the city.

The two men were harsh-looking and spoke loud enough for her to overhear. 

“How do we believe you?” one man spoke.

“That’s left to you, but this is it. I’ve done it for you. Now take it and leave before I am noticed. Please.”

“That’s quite odd isn’t it?” the other man spoke, taking out a gun from his back pocket.  “I want some proof Mr.Da Vinci. There are lots of pennies involved here.”

“Proof?  You’ve gotta trust me. There are really no goof-ups here.” his voice was shaky.

“There better not be! Because you wouldn’t earn this much money if you worked all your life. Mind you!! And if something is fishy, start running right now!”

“That’s a duplicate for god’s sake! Now will you leave? I have friends here.” His voice sounded louder and more nervous this time.

“Fine!! But careful man! Save your butt.”

The other man replaced the gun into his pocket, placed a piece of paper, which looked like a check, on the table, and both men walked out.

She had seen it with her own eyes.  She dropped everything from her hands.  The scene kept replaying….

Duplicate….. Money…. Gun…. Threatening…..!!

She wasn’t a fool, and there was no other feasible explanation to what she had seen just now.

He was smuggling!! He was making duplicates of masterpieces and was smuggling them for money!!

You wouldn’t earn this much money if you worked all your life!!

It’s a duplicate for god’s sake…. Leave before I’m noticed here…!!

If something is fishy, start running right now!!

Everything kept echoing in her mind. It was unbelievable!!

“Hey….!! Honey, I didn’t see you. Why aren’t you at the door? What are you doing here?” he knew she had seen whatever just happened. He tried hard to look normal, as though nothing unusual had happened, but in vain.

“I saw everything. And I know everything. How long has this been going on? How long? Tell me how long?” she could not hide her tears, and her hysteria.

“Sweetheart, you are getting it all wrong. Please let me explain, please.”

“What’s left? What will you explain? I just saw it with my own eyes. And I am not a fool. Actions speak louder than words.”   She tried hard to fight back her tears, took a deep breath and composed herself to avoid listening to herself shout.

“Not always.” He came closer and touched her by her shoulder, “ Please give me a chance. I love you.  You trust me, don’t you?”

“I did!” she yanked herself from his hands and walked away, leaving him still calling out for her.

The night seemed too fresh to forget. It echoed over and over again, torturing her.

She stood up, walked towards the window. She knelt down, looking at the sky, and the moon, blankly. None of it made any sense to her now. All that came to her mind was his memories. Their memories. Who was he? He seemed like a complete stranger to her now. She didn’t know if his mistake was a big one. But she knew what he was doing was illegal. He was using his divine talent as bait to become rich. He was selling it! She sobbed. But it didn’t seem to help her much.

ONE MORE CHANCE - Chapter 1

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“I know why you are not picking up on me. But I deserve a chance to explain. Come on, you know I do! Please talk to me. I’m still waiting.”

It was his nineteenth message for the day. She did not feel like returning his calls, and the fact that she was exhausted due to a long day, seemed like a good excuse. She threw herself on the couch and exhaled heavily. She did not feel hungry for dinner and decided on skipping it, yet again. She blankly looked at the roof and closed her eyes.

“It’s high time you stop skipping your meals. This is heights!!”

She remained silent.

“Do you hear me??” he raised his voice.

“Yeah. I’ll try.”

“Unbelievable!! You are too lazy to cook for yourself, you end up skipping meals, getting sick and visiting clinics with me and you say I’ll try??  That’s horrible. You know that??”

“I don’t feel hungry. “, she shrugged.

He smiled at her and looked at her deep brown eyes. “Nothing seems to be serious to you. Does it?”

“Nothing can be more serious than you!!” she said, teasing him.

He took her in his arms and touched her warm cheeks, “I want you to take care of yourself when I’m away. Okay?” he said caringly.

“I will.” she promised.

He kissed her on her forehead and reached out for his luggage. “I’ll be back soon.”

She suddenly sat up!! Things had changed. Things had changed so much since then. Now she no longer felt like keeping her promise. She no longer wanted to eat, and no longer wanted to take care of herself.