Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

ONE MORE CHANCE - Chapter 6


She stood in front of his door, hesitating to knock. She kept on looking at the shut door, her courage falling short to knock on it. His voice came from inside, may be he had noticed.
“Who is at the door?”
She felt a sudden tremor and she turned back reflexively. He would be at the door the next moment, and she wasn’t sure she could take it. She heard him open the door behind her. She closed her eyes and felt numb. He gently touched her shoulder and turned her to face him. She turned alright, but her bent head remained bent, and her closed eyes remained closed.
“Come on in!!” he held her hand, gently pulled her in and shut the door.
He seemed to be normal, or so he pretended. He knew that she had met his mother, and she now knew the truth behind his dishonesty. “I’ll get us some coffee.” He said casually.
“I- uh…..” that was all she could say, to stop him from going to the kitchen, for now. He stopped and turned.
Now!! It was time. It was time to look at him!! Eye-to-eye! This was the toughest part!
She took a deep breath, collected all her courage and looked up. He was looking at her expectantly, but he waited. He waited patiently, because he knew she had something to say, and she needed time to say it.
“I’m sorry!” she said, finally, again bending her head. She tried hard to fight back her tears, but could not. She covered her mouth to suppress the sound of her sob, and he saw those teardrops dropping down. He came to her and wrapped his arms around her, gently pulling her head to his shoulder, “Come here, come here…..”
She sobbed, like a child and cuddled to him. She kept on whispering under her breath; “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”, her sobs eventually becoming audible.
He hugged her tightly, comforting her and responding, “It’s okay, it’s okay……”
They kept saying that to each other, and stayed in each other’s arms for a long time. He held her shoulders and subtly released her from his embrace. He wiped her tears off his thumbs, holding her pretty face in his palms, and kissed her on her forehead.
She spoke with a shaky voice, “I should have trusted you, and should have been there for you. I should have heard you, and I should have-“
“Shhh…” he silenced her with his finger on her lips. “I should be the one saying sorry. I should have told you about all this before. I’m sorry….”
“I have a bad feeling that I don’t deserve you. Please don’t hate me. I’ll never do this ever again. I promise.”
“Oh! Don’t say that, don’t say that. You deserve so much more.  I love you, do you hear me? I love you!!”
“I love you too. So much!” she hugged him tightly again, never wanting to let him go. He held her and waited. It took some time, but he waited, comforting her, holding her, giving her confidence, belief and strength. She came out of his arms and looked at him again. He was the same man, the same subtle man with love like the sky, patience like an ocean, and heart like the gold.
“I have something to show you.” he said and brought her a frame, wrapped with golden paper.
“What’s this?” she asked, curiously.
“Open it!”
She gently slid the paper off, careful not to tear it.
“Wow..!! This is so beautiful!!” she could not believe her own eyes. It was her portrait!! And it was inexplicably beautiful.
“But how did you do it? I didn’t even pose for you. I’ve not even seen you in so many days…”
“Well, you were here!” he placed his hand on his chest.
“This is amazing!! You didn’t have me even sit in front of you to do this.”
“I just imagined you here.” He walked towards the window and showed a small sitting space. “This is your favorite spot. I know you love to sit here and look out of the window. And that’s exactly what you are doing in the portrait.” He smiled lovingly.
“You are so amazing!!”
 “Yeah, I know!” he chuckled.
She rushed towards him and hugged him so hard that they fell on the couch.
“Oh god, behave!! This is a decent place!” he teased.
“Oh really!!” she said and kissed him on both his cheeks, “Not anymore!!”



                                               

Friday, March 18, 2011

ONE MORE CHANCE - Chapter 5


She fell to the ground, and sobbed. It brought her all her memories. The day her son was attacked, the fear and the helplessness. She was a mother after all, and all she had wanted was her son to be happy. And she knew how much it meant, to convince the woman he loved, of his innocence.



The woman he loved was now hugging his mother, comforting her, and trying to get herself some composure. The women sat silently for quite a while, and she stayed the night with his mother.
She returned the next morning, with a heavy heart and burning eyes. Tears flowed profusely from her eyes, and she could not bring herself back from the feeling of guilt. She had got all her answers now.  She had loved him. She was the one who was supposed to trust him, and be with him, listening to what he had to say, giving him another chance to prove his innocence. She had left him when he needed her the most, and distrusted him when he needed to be trusted. Regret and guilt tortured her like never before, and she felt she never deserved his love. It was a terrible feeling. And she was not sure how she would get over it. She knew he would forgive her, but deep inside, she felt she did not deserve it. She searched for ways to apologize to him like she really meant it, but failed to find any.
It was time for her to go. It was time to apologize, to try her best to make him take her back. It was time to be back in his arms, forever.