My fiftyish aunt asks my mom
“Your daughter isn't getting married any soon? I have someone in mind for her. I’m
sure they’ll make a perfect couple!” As soon as I turn 22, you can find a
minimum of fifteen guys in the family circle with whom I make a perfect match!
Fifteen.
I keep wondering how that
number came up so suddenly. Every uncle and aunt, with whom I’ve barely even
spoken, suddenly knows what’s my type, what’s best for me, and who would be my
perfect match!
They hug me and tell me to check out that prince-on-white-horse
they have in mind. I manage to go with them and introduce myself to the guy.
He
says, “I am an Engineer from NITK. I topped my batch. I worked for XYZ Company
for about two years, and I plan to fly abroad to do my Masters. It’s so really
tough to survive in the Corporate without a Masters Degree. You cannot really
say what it expects from you, you know… And so much so….” .
“Err… Sorry, I didn’t get
your name..” I interrupt.
Really!? You don’t tell
me your name, you don’t tell me where you live, and you don’t tell me what you
like doing. You are in love with your certificates and the whitewashed walls,
glass doors and AC in your cabin!?
Yeah. May be I seem a little
judgmental here. But what else do I think? I am entitled to a first impression.
Guys who purely intend on a temporary romantic expedition and start out with
that’s-a-nice-weather are far better than guys who intend on a lifetime bonding
and start out with I-earn-this-much.
First question- How does
anybody know what I want?
This list of ‘anybody’ surprisingly,
includes parents too. They once tried to convince
me that all my relatives who boast about prospective bridegrooms for me, wish
for my own happiness.
“They just want to get you
married to a family that will keep you happy!” they said.
“Not really. They just want
a wedding. I want a marriage! There is a difference.” I said.
It’s true what people say. Parents know best. Parents know
what’s good for us and what’s not. Mine bear with me day in and day out, and
they are pretty sure that it’s what the groom has to do too, more or less. But that’s
just theory!
Practically, what I am
depends on whom I’m with.The
person I’m going to be, with my future husband, is so clearly different from
what I am with my parents now. Ask different people to describe me. They have
hundred different adjectives and hundred more versions of those adjectives. So,
back in square one, how is that going to work, really?
Second question- Don’t you
think I should decide for myself?
Of course you do. You just don’t
say it aloud! But you know
what? You are forgiven!
So, now comes the list of
all other questions that I ask myself about my marriage.
What if we turn out to be
two really different people who cannot bear with each other?
What if we want different
things from life and from each other?
What if we misunderstand and
assume each other’s words and silence?
What if we cannot get each
other’s sense of humor?
What if we cannot picture
and make sense out of each other’s dreams?
What if love means different
things to us?
What if we get bored with
each other?
So many questions rain down
on me. Well, I wouldn’t know the answers right away, would I?
Questions like these get
stronger when people start saying it’s time, and specially when I have never
been involved with anyone romantically. Never being in a relationship gives me
the pinch sometimes, it would be better if I had some prior experience or at
least familiarity.
I shrug with tight lips, fixed eyes, raised eyebrows, and
then get into a deep philosophical thought of what marriage is!
Gambling- my mind says!
“What!? Is this the same
girl who wrote a hundred hopelessly romantic poems!?” my best friend yells at me
when I say so.
“That’s hormones! Let’s get
real!” I say.
“Ugh! You and your reality,
logic and practicality! Shut up now!” she says and picks up the nearest pillow.
We start a pillow-fight and
giggle at each other’s fighting skills.
simply simply awesome !! oh my god, i can relate to each sentence ,word and comma out there !!
ReplyDeleteits ur best piece according to me !You've kept it simple and at the same time managed not to miss any key point relevant !
I just want to dedicate "hey soul sister" to u ryt now!!
P.S: all those sudden well wishers of our lives who become existent only at a point of time when we so want to ignore and rule out their presence totally deserve a middle finger !!
Thank you so much Sush! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it's my best piece, but it's what I'm going through right now.
And, I so love that song! :)
Let's wish both of us what we deserve- the love of our lives!
:)
Nice one. I would like to thank you becoz my gal will start thinking now on wards.... Specially not from her mind I guess......
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome Darshan.
ReplyDeleteHappy reading.
:)